"Jackie Starr…..that’s two r’s, dude…."

After reading a review of this in the sorely missed Feminist Baseball, I contacted it’s writer/publisher Smitty to get a copy of this completely wacked out tape that sounded completely demented and/or infatuating. Subsequently, I swear, in the summer of ’94, I listened to this tape more than was probably necessary.

The tape’s provenance is somewhat unclear. However, as it was told to me, this was a call made by some crew member for the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion in ’92 or ’93 in between tours. Obviously, anybody with a better back story is more than welcome to enlighten.

The tape is terrifically self-explanatory, but in a nutshell, Jackie Starr calls up a bass player wanted ad and keeps the victim on the phone for over 25+ minutes of delusional rantings about his looks, his chops, and his Ampeg acoustic amp. Of course, in the early nineties, the death of hair metal made calls like this a pleasure. If they were done now, I’m sure it’d be a call revolving around My Chemical Romance who are, by default, this generation’s Poison. Or at least this generation’s Hanoi Rocks with less talent and worse make-up.

Jackie Starr LP (right) + the puppy Bun E. (left)

Imagine my surprise when I was on a record buying afternoon on St. Marks during the Mr. Show tour when I came across a vinyl copy of this tape. My copy’s numbered 69 out of 100, but who the hell knows with these things? Spending $12.99 for this was a pleasure.

While I’m thinking about the Blues Explosion, does anybody know where I can snag mp3’s of the "Reverse Willie Horton" LP?

Jackie Starr

Well, we’ve finally done it. Team Chunklet is now 30 and 0. And who brought us to this lofty undefeated  status? Queens of the Stone Age? Death Cab for Cutie? Snow Patrol? Oh sure, along the way they helped, but Isis are the most recent victims of our whirly-prowess. Of course, I use that term loosely and with tongue firmly in cheek.

H2O with Aaron Turner sharing a tender moment. cRyan Russell

Naturally, Ryan Russell took many a photo of the entire night and will be posting them soon to his image heavy site. In the meantime, enjoy these.

Isis (post-loss) cRyan Russell

I should also add that Chunklet contrib (and Whirlyball show soundguy) Curt Wells assembled this video of The Black Lips actual performance at Whirlyball Atlanta along with footage of them getting spanked by Team Chunklet. Also, our buddy Sloan has posted a live recording of the Black Lips on the final night of that mini-tour at the 40 Watt Club. If you listen close, you can hear me introducing them to a shower of beer, ice and spit. I know, lucky me.

Black Lips @ Whirlyball Atlanta ’07. cRyan Russell

Soon to be followed by the foam trucker hat, beer coozie and the collectable sports bottle. Touch base and I might be able to snag you one.

dees ees de front…

Remember, Chunklet is sponsoring the Mess With Texas hoohah next week in Austin. You’d be a fool not to come.

dees ees on zee back

I’m sure we all remember these lil’ grammar jewels. For today’s  exercise let’s look at none other than the King O’ Smarm – Dennis Miller.

READY?
Dennis Miller is to comedy,
as__________ is to ___________.

The top 10 funniest submissions win a signed copy of Culture Warrior! (Not really, duh)

nice gig, cha cha……

We are starting to take submissions for "The Rock Rules"  book Chunklet is writing which will be released next year on a as-of-yet undisclosed large publisher.

As of now, there are eight categories we’ve decided upon: drums, bass, guitar, keyboard, vocals, overall band/career, crew/staff and, last and definitely least, the fans.

Here are two basic examples:
–Don’t ever use the word "jam" unless referring to preservatives.
–Never put your own band’s sticker on the car (probably your mom’s) that you drive.

Please keep the suggestions short, sweet, and hilarious. Also keep in mind that the book will be heavily illustrated.

Feel free to contact me directly, but of course, posting in comments should be high-larious.

It’s "Chucklefuckers". I’m using that on the next Comedians of Comedy tour.

Thanks to Mag from Atomic in Baltimore for that…..

AC and AC? Hrm… Coincidence?

Thanks to Laurent for the idea. Post any and all ideas in the comments section. This should be fun.

Yet another glimpse into the twisted fucked up tape collection here at Chunklet HQ. Known almost exclusively as the back story behind the naming of Olympia’s Tight Bros From The Way Back When, this recording provides an extended phone call between a record store employee and a wrecked drug casualty named Derek. All I was able to discover (thru Jared, now currently of Melvins/Big Business) is that Sean Kelly from the band was the one to get this tape initially. How’s that for research?

Live at Fallout Records (none of these guys are Derek), photo by Tim Hayes

Listening to this can be almost like the "Love Boat" game, but instead of drinking every time you see a sweeping shot of the boat exterior, drink every time Derek says "bro" or "brah". Drink double when he mentions PCP.

And yes, I have a voracious appetite for these types of recordings. Hit me up if you have any to share.

Derek

Going into the Grammies, I knew that the box that Susan and I were nominated for would lose. That was a given. I mean, indies never win. I know that. But we lost to the fucking Red Hot Chili Peppers box set?!  I don’t want to sound bitter, but I would’ve liked to have lost to a box set that was a worthy opponent. Say, the Girl Sounds box. I yelled out "Bullshit!" right as they announced that Flea and co. won. Again, a total sham.

Jason, Ben and Nick (from Death Cab) and me….all losers (photo by Sarah)

Death Cab for Cutie lost twice this year and once last year. They lost to The Boss in the long form video category and to the "My Humps" song by The Black Eyed Peas for Pop song by a group or some shit.

Me, Troy, Brann and Bill (from Mastodon) and me…..all losers… (photo by Sarah)

Of course, what would some weird industry black tie affair in LA be without running into friends from back home? Fellow Georgians Mastodon lost out to Slayer, but well, if you’re going to lose in the metal category, you’d want to lose to Slayer. Then again, you’d want to lose to Slayer at anything. I think we should all feel pretty lucky to be nominated, but I think we should also remember that Nirvana was beaten out by Milli Vanilli for Best New Artist. There’s food for thought.

More Grammy wrap up forthcoming….

You know you’ll be there both days, suckers!
Mess With Texas

Friday, March 16
Hosted by David Cross
Doors 11:30am
Les Savy Fav
The Black Angels
The Gossip
Dead Meadow
Erase Errata
Matt & Kim
David Vandervelde
Dark Meat
Danava
Brother Reade & Spindrift
+ ANDREW W.K. – Live Lecture and Discussion About PURE FUN and TOTAL LOVE @ noon sharp.

I just finished designing this sucker…..not too shabby….

Saturday, March 17
Hosted by Patton Oswalt
Doors 12:00pm
The Walkmen
Apples in Stereo
The Black Lips
Sloan
Deerhunter
The Ponys
Fucked Up
Ladyhawk
Fatal Flying Guiloteens
The Cubical
The Carbonas
+ special guest headliner.

Comedians performing: David Cross, Patton Oswalt, Eugene Mirman, Leo Allen, Laura Krafft, Kristen Schaal, Bob Odenkirk, Brian Posehn, Jon Glaser, Scott Auckerman, BJ Porter, Jon Benjamin, Zach Galifianakis + more.

Free / All Ages / Open to the Public

Red Seven, 611 E. 7th St, Austin, TX