So I can’t believe this, but the Bible of Rock book is in the final weeks of completion. I’d feel criminally remiss if I didn’t make another attempt to reach out to many of you smug yucksters to see if you have any last minute additions or what have you.

As it stands, the book is divided into seven sections (because like the world, God created rock in seven days) along with the cardinal rules of rock and entire sections of biblical rock hoo-hah. If I must say so, it’s pretty darned funny. The seven sections include: Band, Bass/Guitar, Drums, Keyboards, Vocals, Crew and Fans. We’re open to any recommendations you might have.

So if you have any last minute suggestions or additions (comments like "Never wear your band’s merchandise ever" have already been addressed) please send ’em in (or post them in the comments section) and hey, you might actually be in a book!

I’m sure a few of you have been wondering where the Chunklet updates have gone. Well, I’m almost done with my second book, The Bible of Rock. It’s consuming the entirety of my brain. As such, I’m opening the floor to suggestions/submissions for people in rock that are completely beyond the realm of any rules. Iggy, Bowie, Nico……shit like that. Also, any explanations, etc. are also welcome.

Post any submissions in the comments section and, yes, be as excessive as you wanna be, girl.

Theo Leo had to bail on whirlyball this past Saturday, but it’s completely understandable. His new album debuted in the Billboard top 200 and, well, he is a one-man powerhouse. The kid’s gotta keep his strength.

However, his forfeit equals one more victory for Team Chunklet which means we’re now 32 and 0 if you’re keeping score. I mean, we are. So I just think you are too.

Team Chunklet stomps vegans! cRyan Russell

Good news: Keep your eyes peeled. We’re 99% sure that Teddy will be more than making up for his cancellation in the coming months.

Not really much to report as of right now, but there’s plenty coming up in the next few weeks.

I’ve been taking my new puppy to training classes and last night was his diploma ceremony. Of course, I took photos. Duh, what kind of parent do you take me for? Here’s Sarah with our proud l’il puppy!

Bun E. Carlos and his diploma!!!

Oh, and can somebody explain the popularity of the Pipettes? Did I miss the boat on that bucket of poop or what?

And it’s not because it’s on the next earliest business day before the first of April. Jesus, do blogs even try nowadays? This is what happens when on-line journos step foot outside of their "regurgitating one sheets that pass as journalism" journalism……

Sike!

And don’t get me wrong, I support TMT, but this is pretty fucking weak. I’d love to hear TMT’ers sentiments in the comments section. I know a few of them frequent this site….

I can’t say I’ve ever been the biggest Low fan. Of course, I also hated any band in the mid-90’s where the crowd naturally sat down. It drove me nuts.

However, with their new album, Love And Guns, Low are doing pretty damned okay. And I will say that, for the record, this might be the best music video ever shot. I’m sure the whole thing cost less than $100. $20 for the cake. $2 for milk. And $60 (at least) for that German tunic that Alan is wearing.

Aces, kids. Absolutely, 1000% aces.

1. "White Guys Drive Like This….And Black Guys Drive Like That….."

3. The Car? I Thought His Career Crashed!

Hee hee…..

Insert your own headlines in comments……

1. Conforms to the characteristics of wholesome Christian guitar-pop (unflagging earnestness, understated low end, absence of the otherwise ubiquitous early ’90s "crunch," absense of anything related to black people*) without promoting Christianity or Jesus.

2. Lyrics don’t exhibit depression as such, often present half-assed second-person consolation, and sometimes invoke bastardized Eastern philosophy or morally superior political martyrs. And yet, they display a certain emptiness, as though something significant is missing.

3. Lacks the ambiguity and narcissism of R.E.M. And the hilarity of Live.

4. SCR Worldwide HQ: Santa Barbara, CA

5. No glorification of antisocial activities. (Nice try, Gin Blossoms.)

6. Acoustic versions indistinguishable.

7. Crested during Kurt Cobain’s first three years of death. Definitive document: the Friends CD. Lifeblood: "regional" bands with three-word names that mostly played student unions.

8. Not yet ripe for ironic reappraisal… but get those skits written now.

*Allowing for a dreadlock or two.

Ian didn’t chew gum when they played, Ty didn’t beatbox and Dave and John didn’t jog in place, but damn, did they put up a good fight.

Photo by John Stanier

Final score for the "real" game was 16 to 6. Six of our points came from continual fouls on Team Battles, but eh, whatever. That now puts us at 31 and 0.

Next game is this weekend as we take on Ted Leo/RX as a fund raiser for The Best Show on WFMU. Oh, it’s on!

Battles.

What do Hitler, John Lennon, The Graduate, Dr. Spock, Rome, Homos, Weed, LSD, Sex Farms, Socialism, Commies, Rosemary’s Baby, Bestiality, Witchcraft, Necrophilia, the Marques de Sade and being taught the word ‘fuck’ (officially) in your 7th grade class all have in common?

this was your go-to guy?

Legendary screen creepo John Carradine…that’s what!
Or more specifically one Mr. John Steinbacher, M.A. – who according to somebody, somewhere in 1969 was "America’s Leading Authority on the Sex Education Program in the Public Schools"

that chick is hot….er, uh, nevermind.

JC narrates this kooks alarmist diatribe and it’s a howl. Now take your filthy hands off yer junk for 2 lousy seconds and learn something. Click if you dare!
(Please submit your favorite quotes and vote if you’d like to hear side two. And sorry for the noise, these records don’t fall outta trees ya know!)

POST SCRIPT: I would like to note personally that I was born in 1969, the year of this LP’s release and apparently grew up right in the middle of all this evil. Well, I can state with the utmost certainty that I am a 100% perfectly well adjusted necrophilic serial killer, so there.

1969-The Child Seducers-Side 1