Another LA endurance test. Touch down at noon. Driven to artist check-in. I brought candy for the ladies there and they immediately were down for helping me with a few last minute problems I was encountering. As I’ve found out on these tours, being nice and friendly gets you a lot further than being a typical tour manager dickhead. Well, at least that’s been my take on it.

Garth shows up, we check the merchandise in, and then make our way to catering and sit under the big tents until show time. The show was okay, but a rather difficult situation seeing as how other shows were blaring from other stages at the same time as our set. The comedians being the pros that they are, they power through it and make it work. Garofalo does a guest set that kinda falls on deaf ears. Patton goes short and then goes and passes out in our half-trailer that we’re sharing with the nice kids in the Ravonettes.

These signs were all over the trailer

I get the comedians over to the Virgin tent for autographs, say my goodbyes and immediately head to Amoeba for a bit of record shopping before my red-eye back to Atlanta. Garth suggests taking the train which almost turned into a fucked decision as I almost miss my flight due to 20-30 minute change-overs between trains. Ugh.

The second the plane takes off, I pass out. 20 minutes later, the captain gets on the horn to tell us that the plane is going back to LAX due to a faulty gas filter. Long story short, we get back on the plane at 5am, I immediately pass out again (consider it a talent of mine) and I get back to the house with the wifey and the pooch around noon. Not bad for the first leg of the tour.

Film guy Neil Mahoney shows his “trick”

A bit of good news/bad news is that I will now be able to see the Melvins in town on Wednesday as the COC show in Vegas was cancelled. Ten days in town before I leave again. I’m going to enjoy it.

Patton dead tired after Detour and before going home to see Grumpus

Portland is always a great city to visit and this time wasn’t an exception. We were staying at the hotel that’s part of the Doug Fir Lounge on the other side of the river on Burnside. Once I got everybody checked in, I immediately went across the bridge to see Jaguar Love‘s debut show and These Arms Are Snakes at Dante’s. Man, that makes it two run-in’s with members of Pretty Girls on this tour (so far). Only got to see a nano-second of Jaguar Love, but thought they would easily be snatched up by Matador which’d explain why Chris Lombardi was there front and center with a cocktail in his hand.

Next was Subarachnoid Space who I regretably didn’t get to see for too long as I was hungry and needed to get some food inside me. I went to Voodoo Donuts and then to the burrito trailer in the parking lot next to Dante’s. On the way back, I grabbed a Diet Pepsi from the gas station across the block. All of this would be useless information if it weren’t for what was about to happen….

So I’m standing in front of Dante’s, drinking my DP and watching TAAS through the door. Just minding my own business. After about 30 seconds, the big, black-suited bouncer from Dante’s comes up and asks me if I plan to come back into the venue. Thinking that he was referencing the soda I had in my hand, I immediately said "yeah, but not with this drink". He immediately starts going into this accusatory stance suggesting that the bottle has something OTHER than Diet Pepsi. I should also add that, although he’s 6’7" and towering above me, he’s 6 inches from my face. I start thinking that the Snakes are fucking with me, but I decide to run with it as I have nothing to lose. This goes on for another 2 minutes and I eventually get exasperated and say "man, could you just take it down a notch? Everything’s fine." This, obviously, put the bouncer into a tailspin and he suggested that I keep on walking down the street. I flitter around for another 30 or so seconds, but decide it best that I leave instead of possibly get mangled by this guy for being neither drunk, nor disorderly in public. And who thought you couldn’t get into trouble by NOT drinking?

Me and Patton, Ground Control

Anywhoozle, the next day was mostly catching up with an ex-girlfriend who moved out there and a cousin, his wife and new bambini before I take the comedians to Borders for a 5:30 in-store. After I dropped them off, I made my way to the Roseland Theater to set up and prepare for the show.

All in all, the show was fantastic. Patton brought Maria and Brian out toward the end to go through this new character that Maria had been working on after meeting this crazy woman in Seattle. Good stuff.

Patton closed the show but almost got the show SHUT DOWN when he was sipping single malt and sharing it among the first couple rows of the ALL AGES crowd. Ugh. It got ugly there for a minute with the owner, but everything was smoothed out in no time.

The after show was an easy 1/2 block jaunt to Ground Kontrol which is a vintage video game arcade across the street. Sooooooo much fun. Q*Bert, Galaga and Battlezone games raged as The Byrds were BLARING out of the house sound system. Kinda great, but just a shade too loud for 2:30 in the morning.

Me and Brian, Ground Control

Patton and I decide to leave and forget to hit Voodoo Donuts on the way back to the hotel. Although we decided to sit up and talk at the lounge, we opt for hittin’ the hay for our 5:45 van call. The trip to the airport two hours later devolved into Brian, Patton and I arguing as to whether Vanilla Ice and C&C Music Factory were either "Hardcore Rap" or "Hip Hop" or, as I was suggesting, they were just "throwin’ down". Yes, discussions can be very stupid on 2 hours of sleep. Los Angeles awaits.

I can’t help but think that frog-hopping from city to city isn’t the best way to tour, but hey, what do I know? I flew into Portland on Tuesday, grabbed the van and proceeded to drive three hours to Seattle in non-stop rain. Rain. Ugh, it never stopped. That is, until I hit Seattle’s city limits and the clouds magically cleared.

My first day in town was spent having lunch with Chris from Sub Pop, leaving there and meeting up with Joan H and then proceeding to get lost in Capitol Hill looking for an art exhibit. The exhibit was by Derek Erdman who’s work was these enormous canvases that he projected celebrities on and repainted. I came within inches of purchasing one for the house, but couldn’t think of a wall that we had which’d be appropriate. Spent a bit of time talking to Derek and discovered that he was the co-author of the inarguably genius Kathy McGinty tapes. In case you haven’t heard of the McGinty tapes, it’s a clever trap where Derek and his accomplice Julia lured on-line sex chat guys to call up for phone sex. Their side of the conversation, however, is entirely triggered by samples. I’ve included a few of the calls to give you an idea what it they’re like. However, you really should buy the CD. It, like his artwork, is well worth it. The bummer was that we couldn’t play it in the van (Maria’s "sensitive" to "porn") but we got a few chuckles in before we had to turn it off.

The night petered out with Joan, her boyf Gibbs and me goofin’ off back at their condo there in Capitol Hill.

The next day was spent going for probably the best coffee I’ve had outside of Aurora (Stumptown, get it!) and then going to the hotel to check in the comedians. Unlike past tours, this one is stuffed to the rim with people. Four more than usual. Not wise.

A typical “signing” vantage point….

Anyway, I get to the club, set up, then take a nap. Show goes off with nary a hitch. I end up spending a good portion of the evening talking with Andrea from Pretty Girls Make Graves who was working the door. We talked about how enchanted we both were with Korean food and then talk went on to my dog. Sadly, I didn’t get to say goodbye to her but it’s somewhat ironic that I was out of Atlanta every time PGMG were here in the last three years due to COC, but here I am running into her in Seattle. Show ends, everybody films a few yucks for Superdeluxe and then I go back and have pizza with Joan and Ben and pass out while watching The War.

The next morning was very quiet. Went to Joan’s office and met the folks at Aero Booking. Made my way to pick up the comedians for an in-store at Sonic Boom. Nothing really out of the ordinary, but I did manage to pick up 2 Michael Yonkers LPs and a Jad Fair LP that I’d never seen before. We were then off to Portland.

If you like uncomfortable laughter, buy this CD!

Kathy McGinty – Yeah, Oh Yeah

Kathy McGinty – Where Do You Want Me To Shoot It?

Kathy McGinty – I Have Somebody Else In The House

Kathy McGinty – I’m Gonna Still Get Off With You

It’s 2:30am, I have to get up in 3 hours for a flight to LA. Let this from superdeluxe make you laff. Props to Neil and Cash.

Thanks to Gibb Benson for this.

Who feels like some chocolate?

This might be the best way to start this tour diary. Report on Seattle tomorrow.

Do you ever drive down MLK Boulevard and wonder why no one is playing Frank Zappa’s "Weasels Ripped My Flesh" on the street corner? Have you recently gone to the NAACP website and been disappointed to notice that the partnerships section has no Drag City Records link? Do you ever wonder why no one ever gives you the knowing look of a fellow hipster when you wear your The Faint t-shirt to the Chinese Cultural Center? Well there’s a simple reason for that, you’re white and your people are the only ones on the planet willing to make and care about such noodling bullshit. In the spirit of racially charged music appreciation, throw on an early Genesis record and please help us definitively select the whitest musicians of all time.

Bob’s Whitest Band Nomination: Polvo

Back in June I knew that October was going to be a hellacious month. I’m fixin’ to leave on the eighth Comedians of Comedy tour. Flying to Portland, going to Seattle, back to Portland, fly to LA, back to Atlanta, back to LA, down to San Diego, up to Vegas, then back to Georgia for 10 days. The midwest and east coast follow. Along the way I have about 15 shows I’m putting on. Pray for me. Pray for my dog. And most importantly, pray for my wife.

I’ll be posting erratically, but I can’t make promises.

A number of things:

1. After a seemingly implausible bidding war, The Rock Bible has a publisher. An official announcement is forthcoming. I’m very excited.

2. The Chunklet DVDs are being licensed for a cable channel. I’m not kidding.

3. I was just asked to emcee a day at the ATP in May. Again, I’m not kidding.

4. Our Chunklet SXSW party for 2008 is going to blow away the party this past year by ten fold. My dream? To have Major Stars and Spiritualized on the same bill.

5. Lost & Found 10 is done.

6. Harvey Milk "Anthem" is going to be reissued in the spring with an entire DVD of bonus material including a 4-camera shot of their final show with (new daddy) Paul.

7. When I get back from tour, Chunklet 20 will be finished. It will undoubtedly piss off any music blogger on the face of the planet……and that makes me very happy.

8. The Les Savy Fav record "Let’s Stay Friends" is due here at Chunklet HQ very shortly. All orders will go out the second my ass gets back in the 404 area code in a week or so.

9. The test pressing to the next whirlyball single showed up on Friday. More on that very soon, too.

Finally, a childhood dream came true this past weekend. I saw Van Halen with David Lee Roth. "God Damn" is about all I can say. Observations? Oh sure. The crowd was a lot more diverse than I was anticipating. A lot of old, doughy looking Guitar Center guys, but a ton of suburban dads and moms with kids in tow. An exclusively white crowd except for a 6’4" black dude who towered over the audience that was clearly an undercover cop dressed as a woman. So painfully awkward. I loved it. Thanks to Gary for being my travel buddy and for pushing me over the edge by actually paying for my $125 ticket up front. This show tripled the most I’ve ever spent to see a rock show in my life.

Okay, that’s it. More shortly. Be patient.

It’s funny, even before Pissed Jeans had a record on Sub Pop, there were folks that worked there that said "you’re gonna love this band." And you know what? They were 100% right. A total throwback to somewhere between the Laughing Hyenas, Drunks With Guns and Born Against, Pissed Jeans give me hope. And this video (somewhat in line with the Low video from last year) doesn’t take itself too seriously, and goddamn, it’s one of my jams from this past summer.

I’ve included a few tx from their KEXP session which was a "bonus" disk with their Sub Pop debut.

Now if I could only get them to come to the South and rock out some shows I’d be a happy boy.

Pissed Jeans – Boring Girls (Live on KEXP)

Pissed Jeans – Secret Admirer (Live on KEXP)

Pissed Jeans – I’ve Still Got You (Ice Cream) (Live on KEXP)

Pissed Jeans – I Don’t Need Smoke (Live on KEXP)

Pissed Jeans – Love Clown (Live on KEXP)

Pissed Jeans – Closet Marine (Live on KEXP)

via Crave.

Here’s an old cure that I’ve never tried, but has been kicked around for years. I remember Manfred from the Woggles even claiming that you just pop the record between two pieces of glass, put it in the sun for a day and that’s it.

But $1500? I’m sure Billy at Shake It has one…..right, Billy?

Courtesy of the yucksters at Atomic Books:

Q: What’s a banana’s least favorite Napalm Death record?
A: The Peel Sessions.

and….

GG Allin is wasted, slumped over the bar about to fall off. In walks a banana. The banana orders a drink, turns to GG and says "This guy is a mess. I better push his stool in."

Oh, the humanity.