So I’m still reeling from Toronto. A great goddamned time. Thanks to everybody. Seriously.
One quick thing while I’m sorting things out.
I found this same set list in two of the same single while in Toronto! Yes, it’s handwritten so somebody really loved this band. One of my favorite bands from the late 80’s. Now I can seem like I’m steeped in cred by having this in my own copy here at the house.
First person that answers correctly gets a Zach Galifianakis/Ted Leo picture disc!
Ah, the 90’s. So many singles, so little time to gush over them while they were coming out. Fortunately, Pukekos has been nice enough to let me interview some people about records they made twenty years ago.
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This time I interviewed a newly recuperated Tom Hazelmyer about his band Gear Jammer who released a total of two singles.
Welcome back, Tom! Didn’t know what we’d do without you.
Full report on NXNE pending upon me installing a ceiling fan on the porch.
I’ve spent 7 goddamn days listening to this yammering twit talk about how offended she was by a stupid joke told by David Letterman. I’ve always liked Dave. Why? He just doesn’t give a fuck. He does what he wants (i.e.- hey, my friend Warren Zevon is going to die, here’s the entire hour of my show). Ratings be damned, Leno can have ‘em. But Dave told a joke and Sarah Palin got all martyr on him faster than Dennis Miller can lose a job. Never mind that SNL told an incest joke about the Palin clan. Never mind that Mr. vanilla himself, Jay Leno, told a joke with the same basic punch-line. And let’s TOTALLY FORGET that her running mate John McCain told an “offensive” joke about a younger 13-year old girl (Chelsea Clinton) in his past. Apparently there is a statute of limitations on jokes about innocent young children of politicians if you’re a member of the GOP. That fact that McCain called his wife “a cunt” is just pure chuckle bonus material.
So, in an effort to give ole’ Sarah a chance to feel truly offended and “victimized” I’ve written, re-written, and amassed a collection of twenty joke that far out stink anything ever told on network TV. I’m not trying to be a comic genius here (obliviously). I’m trying to give Sarah Palin exactly what she wants – a big ol’ pity party and an opportunity at lazy sanctimony. Feel free to join in, or tell me how much I suck.
Oh and Sarah, please, please, pleases, win the GOP nomination in 2012.
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What’s the difference between Sarah Palin and 9/11?
9/11 was successful.
Why has Sarah Palin crapped out so many kids?
It takes a lot of people to run a profitable meth lab.
What’s worse than terminal penis cancer?
Being Todd Palin.
Why do the Palin kids have so many stupid names?
Because their parents are brother and sister.
How does Bristol piss off her mom?
She fucks a douche bag named Levi.
How does Bristol piss off her dad?
She orders Levi not to pull out.
Why did the Palins choose the name Trig?
Because Corkey had too much elitist Hollywood baggage.
What’s the first thing Sarah does when she gets back from a GOP fundraiser?
The fucking laundry if she knows what’s good for her.
What’s 18 inches long and makes Sarah scream at night?
Crib death.
What’s the difference between jam and jelly?
David Spade can’t jelly his cock down Bristol’s throat.
Why couldn’t McCain & Palin pull away during 2008 election?
They hit a bit of a down syndrome.
What would have been the one simple answer to the whole Bristol Palin mess?
Anal.
What’s the difference between Sarah Palin’s vagina and her mouth?
Only some of the things that come out of her vagina are retarded.
How can you tell when the Palin family is in town?
The Wal-Marts are empty and the bait shops are closed.
What did Bristol scream at Levi in the back of his Ford F-250 (with truck nuts)?
“Drill Baby Drill!”
Why was Palin so mad at Letterman for that A-Rod joke?
Because she would never allow Willow to “date a filthy Dominican!”
Sarah Palin and Todd jump off the top of Mount McKinley at the same time. Which one hits the ground first?
Who gives a fuck?
What do the state of Arizona and Sarah Palin’s vagina have in common?
They both offer donkey rides to the bottoms of their grand canyons.
How can you tell the difference between Octo-Mom and Sarah Palin?
One is a publicity grubbing whore who will pimp out her kids to achieve her own goals at any cost. The other kinda looks likes Angelia Jolie.
Why did Sarah Plain attend five colleges?
The first four didn’t offer degrees in Advanced Fuck-tardness.
Do you know why Sarah Palin shoots wolves from a helicopter?
Because she’s a stupid fucking cunt, that’s why.
So it seems like Whirlyball matches (and shows for that matter) have been sorta slow this year. No worries, I think we’ve found a band that can finally give Mogwai a run for their money: Russian Circles!
The score had to sting for Brian, Dave and the two Mikes, but man, victory always tastes sweet. I think this takes our record to 55-0. St. Vincent wanted to ball tonite. Pity I’ve actually got a show with RCs, Coliseum and Hawks tonight….
You heard it here first, folks.
(Big ups to Sowley…..)
I have Chris and Jacob at Criminal Records to thank for this list. It’s just too good NOT to share.
1. Myles (Lucy)
2. Shrapnel
3. Discharge
4. Scraggles
5. Musty
6. Crass The Dog
7. Boxcar
8. Panzer
9. Scraps
10. Patches
11. Bullet
12. Old Cigarette
13. Ümlaut
14. Spare Change
15. 40
16. Fleas and Lice
17. Flux of Red Ticks
18. Moo-Stache
19. Spike
20. Crusty the Dog & Sideshow Mange
21. Blisters
22. Death By Cider
23. Parvo
24. Ol’ Toothless
25. Lemmy
26. Shut Up You Stupid Fuckin’ Animal
27. Trusty
28. A Dog Of Wealth and Taste
29. Rudimentary Pupi
30. Ametix
So this past week, I’ve been organizing the office and have been coming across some really great stuff from Chunklet’s past. One thing I discovered was this funny video that Chris Bilheimer shot and edited that was shown at the beginning to each of the three nights of the Chunklet Swindle back in 2002. Yeah, it is what it is, but it feels like more people should see this, so here y’go.
So yeah, I recorded both shows at ATP by The Jesus Lizard like a fucking nerd. So yeah, they were BEYOND FUCKING BELIEF. So yeah, I was in the pit with the hoi polloi the entire time and worth every goddamned bump and bruise. So yeah, I’ve received about fifty emails asking for me to repost the second show.
But you know what? I’m going to do it one better, here’s the link to download the recording of the first night. (A fixed Sendspace link……) Circulate far and wide and crank to maximum volume.
And hey, since Paste Magazine can shamelessly hold out their hat asking for handouts, instead of us doing that (lame), why not go and buy something in the Chunklet store. See? We don’t need to GIVE shit away (although we do). Come on, take one for the team, dammit!
So what I know about this live recording is minimal. I dug it up on a torrent search and well, it is what it is. It’s definitely a board tape from the Uptown Lounge and I can tell that Dave Barbe is playing with them. They even do a Sonics cover, so it can’t be all bad.
And not to sound like a big shot, but I see Arthur (BBQ Killers drummer, later of the way underrated Come) all the time at my local grocery store….and nowhere else.
Read more about the BBQ Killers in this blog posting.
Oh, and be sure to check out the shit hot video footage from the Killers final gig too. Shot by Ted Hafer (RIP).
BBQ Killers – His or Hearse
BBQ Killers – Summer Lovin’
BBQ Killers – Psycho
BBQ Killers – Green Jeans
BBQ Killers – Your Steaming Asshole Is Fogging Up My Glasses
BBQ Killers – Blood Brother
BBQ Killers – Womb To Tomb
BBQ Killers – Holy Fucking Jesus Christ
BBQ Killers – Exit This Frozen Skin Graft
BBQ Killers – Use It Or Lose It
What I know about this is on a wikipedia page, but hey, it’s Friday afternoon and I’m on my way to Athens to see freakin’ Double Negative! Read about it here. Only giving up side B.
Monty_Python’s_Hastily_Cobbled_Together_Album_-_Side_Two