Hey everybody! We’re almost at the half way point of the Kickstarter fund-raising campaign and have officially reached five digits. So to those who have contributed, a hearty thank you.
If I could personally make a request of those that have helped or have shown interest in The Indie Cred Test, please help spread the word. Although it doesn’t seem like much, a Facebook, Twitter or Tumblr posting means a lot more than you think. So cut and paste and realize you’re helping finance one of the top twenty projects on Kickstarter that has the words "Indie" and "Test" in its title.
More videos and insanity to be coming down the pike as crunch time approaches.
FORBES MAGAZINE BIGGEST MONEY MAKING STAND-UP ACTS OF 2010 (thus no TV Hosts or sitcom stars, just the mic & stage. )
1) Jeff Dunham, $22.5 million (previous year: #3, $30 million). An adopted, cake-eater from Dallas, Texas, who uses puppets? Well of course he’s gonna have to build his own bank. USA! USA! USA! (no offense to the adopted, you are funny.)
2) Dane Cook, $21 million (previous: #4, $20 mil). Ed Hardy T-shirts, Maxim magazine, and Mike’s Hard Lemonade; toss in plenty of goofy genuflections and MySpace – BOOM check please!
3) Terry Fator, $20 million (previous: #9, $10 mil). I have no idea who this person is and aren’t going to bother Googling. I just know he/she also works with dummies, like the kind you stuff your hand up into.
4) Chelsea Handler, $19 million (previous: unranked). You drink. I got it. Now get the sex tape out here, I just hope it’s with a meth’d out Steve Doocy.
5) George Lopez, $18 million (previous: #5, $20 mil). Does have a “talk show” per se (for now) but logs lots of hours on stage. I can recall laughing at Lopez. This may have something to do with my wife being Latino. I like getting laid once in while.
6) Larry the Cable Guy, $16.5 million (previous: #7, $13 mil). Get ‘er over. He’s a dead horse, I’ll keep the whip on the hook. But I would attend a show of his…at The Apollo.
7) Russell Peters, $15 million (previous: #10, $10 mil). Ever flip to the back of a copy of MOJO and freak out at the bands that continually book huge tours in Europe no matter how dreadful they are? There ya’ go…
8) tie: Jeff Foxworthy and Howie Mandel, $11 million (previous: Mandel #6, $15 mil; Foxworthy #8, $11 mil). You might be a redneck if you shave your head and are such a germaphobe you make Howard Hughes look like a sewer worker; although the sewer worker is most assuredly funnier.
10) Bill Engvall, $10.5 million (previous: unranked). More bumpkin-yucks, (can I trademark that phrase?) It’s only a matter of time before one of these Joads does a “show” while actually driving in a NASCAR race. (love, Billy.)
And finally, for those that keep records of these sorts of things, Chunklet has reached the half-way point in our Kickstarter budget goal. So to those that have contributed, thank you. For those that have yet to check it out, please do. And hey, you get a book out of the deal. What more could you possibly want!?
There’s been a long history, as long as the history of rock & roll (as bratty as it thankfully is) itself, of bands/artist having their “comeback moments”, “career revivals” and second, third, shots at the gold ring. But in the last few years (decade plus?) there’s been an odd phenomenon of bands capturing the collective minds of the music public (not known for their discriminating taste) which gives rebirth to that which should have been scraped from the tubes and forgotten about for the greater good of Humankind.
As Navin R. Johnson would say:
A prime example and a clear exception to this phenomenon is Johnny Cash. Now, this thing we are dealing with is not the tired old “hey, they’re dead now, so I want all their records” thing (see: Michael Jackson to Elliot Smith). JR spent a good 15 years making pretty dreadful records before being revived by Rick Rubin and producing some honest to goodness great albums; zeitgeist weathermen be dammed. It’s a shame his legacy seems bound for, if it’s not already squarely plated there, in the “Hendrix File” – i.e. a “new” record every year of less and less appealing scraps thrown together for market. No, this phenomenon is a stranger one, one that depends on things like movie soundtracks, satellite radio, and the instant romanticism of that which has not steeped long enough to produce this suspicious potion.
NEEDED: Apply within
As the kids now decide (for the moment) to have themselves a record collection, they are often left with the hackneyed that forever litter the bins of stores across the country. Some are just good to great records that just happen to sell a bajillion copies; Van Halen debut anybody? Many more, like 98%, are well, less than essential let’s say. But when that’s your pickings, you make them cool. Used YES records, $15 dollars & up in major cities across the U.S.? What the hell is going on? This illness knows no decade; it can be spotted right up to yesterday. Sorry Anvil, you sucked then, you suck now, endearing & heartwarming documentary or not. Same goes for the Smashing Pumpkins, go away and leave us in peace. Maybe there’s an Internet station devoted to Zwan? Wait, what do I mean “maybe”, duh. And sure, I saw my fair share of Suicidal Tendencies shows. But what, are you the fucking the Steve Miller Band now or something? (Hold it, Miller makes a fortune, bad example, but I digress.) Scour the remaining dignity off your guitar case and just settle in at the Home Depot break room. That way you can retain a bit of nobility and make your child support payments. So let it out people. Who’s doing it and should stop? Who do you know is planning it and should stop? Who is being wooed by outside forces, should ignore them and stop? Consider this a preemptive measure to save us all. For haven’t we suffered enough? Because trust me, there’s a “new” Faith No More album on the way (probably?). And well, we just can’t have that. If so, it will mark the first time I google the term “dirty bomb”.
So I’ve been doing snow angels in the front yard all afternoon. The last time I’d done said activity was when I confronted a local right-wing(nut) ‘rock’ ‘journalist’ who was away from his day job as a record store curmudgeon and was visiting yet ANOTHER record store. Such good memories. Oh! And for good measure? I knocked his dick in the dirt. But enough about me and my silly snow angels. It is Georgia fer Pete’s sake…
I’d like to say that music fans worldwide will mourn this development, but Paste was never known for covering music. One of these days I’d love to tally all the writers that were never paid by Paste. Y’know, off the top of my head I can list a dozen. Good riddance to bad trash.
Q: What’s the difference between a bucket of shit and Paste Magazine?
A: Nobody’s dumb enough to have a benefit show for a bucket of shit. There is none. A free CD. The staples. A bucket of shit doesn’t ask you for money. Most people won’t open a bucket of shit. There is an off chance that a bucket of shit might contain nuts. A bucket of shit can tell you more about what you like. A bucket of shit doesn’t like crawl up Ryan Adams’ ass and set up camp. In five years people will still know what a bucket of shit is. More work goes into a bucket of shit. If someone has a bucket of shit under their arm you might think they’re crazy but you don’t instantly hate them. A bucket of shit doesn’t try to convince you to buy a Jack Johnson CD. A bucket of shit only requires one asshole, not a building full of them. The bucket of shit just might have a well designed cover over it. A bucket of shit has substance. At least flies are attracted to a bucket of shit. A bucket of shit has staying power, especially downwind. A bucket of shit doesn’t have lofty aspirations. A Fat Possum can’t carry a bucket of shit. I’d donate money to save a bucket of shit. A bucket of shit grew weary of Uncle Tupelo a long time ago. A bucket of shit has potential. A bucket of shit doesn’t have a specially designed logo that always reminds me of the edgy lust for life present at the salad bar at whole foods. A bucket of shit represents spoils of a fruitful effort. A bucket of shit has useful fertilizing possibilities. A bucket of shit is most definitely not insipid. A bucket of shit never tried to rip off NME. It’s possible for a bucket of shit to have been made by a talented writer. You can’t use the discounted media mail rate when shipping a bucket of shit via the USPS. People who stare at a bucket of shit are far better informed. A bucket of shit knows more about typography.
So after a grand total of one publisher rejecting the new Chunklet book, I’ve decided that we will release it ourselves which isn’t something new to us.
However, unlike the magazines, we don’t have ad revenue to offset the cost of printing and production. So that’s where Kickstarter comes in. A long-time Chunklet contributor, Yancey Strickler, suggested we give it a try, and well, that’s what we’re doing.
If you have ever loved what Chunklet does, please contribute. If you want to laff, please contribute. If you want an exclusive 7" by Fucked Up, please contribute. If you have the burning desire to help a cause that is truly DIY, please contribute.
To every part one is the part two, and here it be, McGee. The second part of the Circus Lupus demos from 1990. Although the tape was originally from the legendary Chris Thomson tape dump from last year, I had a better version of this tape courtesy of my old pal Mark Stelmach.
This is, from my estimation, the band’s first ever recordings when they were still in Madison, Wisconsin with Reg Shrader (later of Seam) on bass. I’m 99.9% sure that this is the session that produced the band’s first single on Cubist Productions outta Pittsburgh.
Really not much else to say. If you’re a Circus Lupus fan, you’ve gotta have this (much like the Monorchid or Skull Kontrol mp3s I’ve posted). But hey, this stuff just finds me. I’m merely offering this stuff up, and you know what? I’m happy to share.
By the spring of 2009, I had written off going to SXSW. My dealings with SXSW proper had discouraged me from doing another Chunklet party and my further dealings with one particular shithead promoter I had helped further sealed the deal. Screw it. I wasn’t going.
Then I found out that Mayyors, a scrappy band with two singles to their name, were doing four shows in Austin. To my fevered brain, this was a game changer. Now, I get to hear a ton of new music. And this band? I don’t know. It was like a punch to the throat. And deep down? I knew they’d be just tremendous to watch perform. And boy, I wasn’t wrong.
Where’s Waldo? Mayyors at Spiros (FMU/AQ showcase)
I asked my lovely and overly understanding wife three days prior if she’d mind if I went to Austin solely to see Mayyors and she was agreeable to the idea. In an effort to save money on plane flights (Atlanta to Austin is super expensive for some reason), I flew into Houston, rented a car and bee-lined to downtown Austin. I arrived around sunset and immediately planted myself at Spiro’s for the WFMU/Aquarius Records showcase which had no shortage of bands that I was thrilled to see. I mean, hell, I finally got an opportunity to see the six-person line-up of Major Stars. That’s enough right there, huh?
But Mayyors hit the stage and were everything I had anticipated. Short. Sharp. Swirling. Punishing. Brilliant. Everybody that was in the front row of their performance I’d see the next day as I went to see them at Sound On Sound which was a record store north of downtown. SoS might sound familiar to many of you as the place where Chunklet hosted our SXSW 2-stage parking lot soiree a few years prior with Ted Leo, Carbonas, Torche, Part Chimp and a zillion other bands. But this gig was inside SoS (which since then has sadly closed) and saw Houston’s Rusted Shut do an hour long ‘endurance test’ gig directly before. And seeing FMU’s Brian Turner,Load Records’ Ben McKosker and both Allan and Andee from Aquarius Records assured me that I wasn’t alone in being excited about seeing Mayyors once again. Click on the mp3 attached to hear the show.
And after going to The Salt Lick with Andee and Mr. Turner (which was my only proper meal in the 28 hours I was in Austin), the final Mayyors show I got to see was later that evening at a house in suburban Austin. As I pulled up, Chris Lombardi (Matador’s co-owner) was leaving because there weren’t any bands setting up. Uh, oh. As he piled into a cab with his colleagues, I joked with him that he needed to go find some fresh powder to ski down. Some jokes never die. But regardless, after the cops received complaints from neighbors during Thee Oh Sees set, the show eventually went inside and all the bands play in the home owner’s kitchen. Brilliant.
I got to stand directly next to the band amidst the kitchen sink, cabinets, groceries, pots and pans as they whirled up a hell of a racket. I remember seeing somebody crowd surfing which was without a doubt the only time I’ve ever seen that happen *IN* somebody’s kitchen.
Did I regret the $500+ it took for me to get out to Austin? NOT. ONE. BIT.
Mayyors at Sound on Sound, Austin
Now fast forward to this morning and I get an email from Mayyors’ ‘singer’ John Pritchard who stated that the band was about to play their final four shows ever as a band. Now, while I’d love to make it to the west coast for these gigs, I think it’s a borderline impossibility. However, to anybody out there with Delta SkyMiles, I’m open to your generosity. Or if the brilliant organizers of the SMMR BMMR in Portland want me to emcee, I’m 100% down. SERIOUSLY!
But if you live in Northern California or Portland, Oregon, you really have no reason to NOT go see them perform before they pack up. I’m sure I could rattle off a slew of bands that have come before Mayyors, but really, do you need any more endorsement than this post?
Also, if there’s anybody out there recording these shows, send ’em on and we’ll trade.
08.13.10 – Portland, OR – SMMR BMMR @ Plan B w/Woven Bones, The Lamps, Wounded Lion, Meth Teeth, GGreen, Burning Yellows, Myelin Sheaths, Therapists, Manic Attracts, Fist City, $12, 21+, 6pm
08.14.10 – Portland, OR – HOUSE PARTY @ 110 n. failing w/Jonny X & the Groadies, GGreen, Big Black Cloud, all ages, $5, 8pm
09.03.10 – Daly City, CA – @ Serra Bowl w/Ty Segall, Culture Kids, Blasted Canyons, all ages, FREE, 8pm
09.05.10 – Davis, CA @ d.a.m. House w/Thee Oh Sees, The Lamps, all ages, $5, 7pm
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Sure, bands break up every day, but the video that’s included with this post (shot at Budget Rock 7) does a remarkably accurate job of showing what a mind-blowing band we’re losing in a few weeks.
Mayyors at house party at 1118 Linden, Austin
Mayyors – Live in Austin at Sound On Sound ’09
“We’re all in this together. Except you. You’re a dick.”
